


Recovery

by Angelily_Viventis



Series: Alan Rickman x Plus-size reader [19]
Category: Alan Rickman - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Age Difference, Alan to the Rescue, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Assault, Attempted Murder, Cutting, Death Threats, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Heartache, Heartbreaking, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Past Domestic Violence, Physical Abuse, Pregnancy, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Sexual Assault, Size Difference, St Bartholomew's Hospital, Threats of Violence, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:21:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24320467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelily_Viventis/pseuds/Angelily_Viventis
Summary: Alan uncovers a dark secret about his new boss' past. Years later, he and (Y/N) get married and have a beautiful baby girl. Soon, the past catches up with them and leaves the family with years of trauma and emotional scarring. Possible happy ending.
Relationships: Alan Rickman/Original Female Character(s), Alan Rickman/Reader
Series: Alan Rickman x Plus-size reader [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1729954
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Recovery Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Part one in the "Recovery Series".

(Y/N) wipes her nose with a tissue and shoves it into her long sleeve opening as she spots Alan in the elevator as the doors open. She quickly makes her way inside without a word.

"Professor (Y/L/N)," Alan greets cheerily in his deep velvety voice after spotting her through the open doors. He politely moves over inside the elevator to make space for her.

After Alan's greeting (Y/N) just gives a polite but timid smile and makes her way behind him to the back corner of the elevator.

 _Do I smell bad?_ Alan wonders to himself and inconspicuously lifts his collar to try and smell himself. _I mean, jeez, the elevator sure is big enough to occupy us both. Why does she settle for the small corner?_

Alan can feel the tension she's emitting and judging by the fact that she's wringing her hands, something's bothering her.

He was about to make small talk when the elevator dings again signaling her floor. She quickly makes her way out.

"Mr. Rickman," she greets in passing as she steps off.

Alan watches her scan her surroundings before heading into her office and locking the door.

Alan goes up one more floor then steps off the elevator, empty mug in hand, and heads over to the staff room. Two other lecturers are situated around the large staff table having their cups of chosen poison - _whatever keeps them going through the day._

As he rinses his mug and prepares himself another mug of strong coffee he can not help to wonder why their Executive Dean keeps to herself so often. As soon as her office door closes you don't hear a peep from her.

He sits opposite the man and woman at the staff table. After taking a sip of his coffee and grimacing at how bitter it is he clears his throat and leans slightly forward, gaining the attention of his colleagues.

"It might be none of my business, but does Prof. (Y/L/N) seem distant and somewhat reclusive to any of you two?" He lowers his voice to almost a whisper.

They both eye each other suspiciously but remain quiet, continuing their class prep.

"Come on, both of you have worked here longer than I have. She seems lovely, what's her story?" He tries probing the professors.

The younger man scoffs and gives a single sarcastic chuckle.

"Stay away, man. She's damaged goods - you don't want _that_ ," he replies while still looking down at his file full of class schedules.

Alan heard of him before. Professor in Fine Arts. Well, _professor_ is a strong word. He was only awarded the honorary title because his father funds one of the institution's art projects. Black hair, blue eyes, unkempt beard, mid-thirties. A real rogue Casanova among the younger female population... and bloody arrogant according to Alan.

"Excuse me?" Alan sneers at the man's poor choice of wording.

"What he's trying to say... is that she just came out of an abusive relationship a few weeks ago. A very bad one, in fact. A few days just before you joined our team, actually," the older lady chimes in to remedy the man's earlier statement.

She must be only four years older than Alan, making her 67, with hair white as snow. Strings of pearls adorn her wrinkly neck. Old money. Intelligent, too. Professor in Art History. Walks around as if she swallowed the entire collection of Encyclopedia Brittanica. Alan loves how she can rival him in their political discussions.

"Yeah, it was very bad. The final incident that caused her to end it... he tied her up, held her at gunpoint, and used her as a punching bag for an entire weekend," the younger Professor added in hushed tones while raising two eyebrows knowingly.

"My God! What type of man does that?!" Alan exclaims disgusted as he can feel the anger burning inside him by just the thought of a man doing that to a defenseless woman.

"Apparently he was a really big lad. And strong. She was defenseless against him," the older female replies while flipping through a dictionary.

"He would throw her around like a rag doll - even for her size. And she looks pretty heavy," the younger professor indicates to her size with his arms.

"Excuse me, but are you incapable of human emotions?" Alan asks the younger man in disgust.

"What? I'm just saying," the man pulls his shoulders up in defense.

"Maybe you should be saying a lot less. I don't care for your lack of empathy towards a fellow human being," Alan reprimands him and turns his back on the younger professor.

"Don't you have a lecture that's about to start, Professor Munroe?" The woman asks him.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. I'm outa here," he haphazardly grabs his files and empty cup while making his way to his classroom.

"I do apologize for his awful behavior," she offers sincerely.

"No need to apologize on his behalf, Helen. He needs to learn some manners and respect by the sound of things..."

 _Silence_.

"Why did no one suspect anything? I mean, abuse escalates over some time, it doesn't just happen on one fateful day..." Alan waits expectantly for Helen's answer.

"...Well, (Y/N) is a very private person. She used to be very bubbly and energetic, but she never once mentioned anything relating to matters of herself or home. We know nothing of her background and we didn't even know that she was in a relationship until one day her whole demeanor just changed. She would talk less, never joining in on the staff conversations anymore. Her whole personality became silent. It's been three years since I last saw her genuinely laugh," Helen answers solemnly.

"Three years? My God, why did she let it go on for so long?!"

"Well, (Y/N)'s a kind and gentle soul. She always sees the good in people. I speculate that she kept believing he would change," Helen answers with a shrug before picking up a highlighter and underlining a word in the dictionary.

"You say she never opened up about him nor the situation?"

"Mhm."

"There must be someone she talks to. If not here, then somewhere else. A person can't bottle up their whole livelihood like that," Alan exclaims incredulously.

"There is one person - Thea. Professor in the Fashion Department, don't think you would know her. (Y/N) trusts her with her _life_ ," Helen enunciates the last words of her sentence carefully.

All goes quiet for a while as Alan sits back in his chair and positions his hands in a thinking manner under his chin while a frown settles between his eyebrows.

"Don't even try, my dear."

"Hm?" Alan asks confused.

"I know what you want to do. Thea won't say anything. To no one. We've all tried. When (Y/N) would show up with bruises visible under her long-sleeved garments we would go ask Thea. She would just give us a look and say 'we're working on it.'"

"Clearly they weren't working on it hard enough. I can't believe you all suspected something and didn't do more to help," he abruptly stands up and pushes his chair back.

"Don't go and be a hero, Al. It's not another man she needs," Helen says knowing that Alan would go out of his way to try and help (Y/N).

"No, it's not. What she needs is more than just one friend and confidant in this faculty," he shakes his head in disbelief and pours his remaining coffee angrily down the sink before heading down to (Y/N)'s office.

Once he approaches the deadly quiet hallway he can hear muffled sobbing coming from inside her office. He takes a deep breath and knocks on her office door. After no answer, he turns the knob, and to his surprise, it's unlocked.

He quietly opens the door and steps inside. The smell of copper is pungently present in the office and he wiggles his nose to prevent the smell from entering his nose. What Alan saw makes his stomach drop and his heartbreak. On the dark cherry wood desk, he spots bloodied crumpled tissues and a single glistening blade, all neatly laid out on a white towelette.

_No, (Y/N), no..._

He hears her blowing her nose after her sobbing stops before she flushes the toilet and emerges out of her office bathroom.

They stood, shocked, looking at each other. Alan can see the pain in her eyes and catches a glimpse of the angry bloody scars on her exposed wrists as she slowly tries to pull her sleeves down behind her back.

"What are you doing in here??" She asks defensively with eyes still red and swollen from crying. Alan can now visibly see the blue and yellow healing bruises under her smeared make-up.

"I-I... (Y/N) I want to help you," Alan offers sincerely.

She remembers her equipment still laid out on her desk and hurriedly rushes past Alan to gather her things before causing herself more embarrassment. She knocks a vase over in her rushed panic, causing it to shatter to the floor and water to spill all over her paperwork.

Alan watches helplessly as she fumbles with the things on her desk, not sure what she has to tend to first - the broken shards of glass on the floor, the water seeping into all her hard work, or her blade and bloodied tissues.

"Here, I'll help," he steps closer to her and gently places his hand on her upper arm.

She spins around violently as tears stream down her face and Alan can sense her frantic panic.

 _I shouldn't have done that!_ He mentally reprimands himself.

"No! No! No! Stay away! Don't you dare come near me! Don't you dare _touch_ me!" she screams and sobs and stretches out both arms in an attempt to keep the distance between them.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N). I shouldn't have done that. I'm just trying to help," he raises his voice over her loud sobbing and puts his hands up in defense.

She backs up until her back reaches the wall and collapses down to the floor while crying and clutching her head.

After a moment of just standing there watching her, Alan gathers all his courage and speaks up.

"H-how can I help?" Alan asks helplessly as he too sits down on the floor next to her shaking form.

She looks up at him and it's as if Alan could see her carefully constructed mental walls breaking down.

"C-could you j-just hold m-me, please?" She pleads with him through hiccuped sobs.

Alan remains silent as he wraps two strong arms around her fragile form in an attempt to hold her tight.

Some time passes before Alan speaks again.

"You're bleeding," he says quietly and indicates towards her wrists as they pull apart.

"Oh, God," she whispers.

"Let me get the first aid kit," he stands back up and walks out into the hallway towards the medical cabinet.

He makes sure her office is locked before he lowers himself down again making himself comfortable in front of her. He gently peels back her bloodsoaked sleeves and cringes at the lines dangerously decorating her wrists all the way up her inner forearms. Some are deep and some are superficial. He notices some old scars and wonders if anyone in this faculty knew about it or tried to stop her before.

He looks down at the multiple fresh scars carved earlier today. They are dangerously deep as blood keeps seeping out of them. Anger boils inside Alan knowing that (Y/N) doesn't value herself enough to allow this to happen.

_Does she not see how beautiful she is? Does she not realise what an important impact she has on multiple students' lives? How could she want to throw her life away just like that? Surely, she must know how big a hole she will leave in the lives of the people around her if she were to..._

Without saying anything he soaks a cotton pad in antiseptic.

"I'm not going to lie - this is going to hurt like a bitch... But then again, it won't hurt as much as anything you've had to make through already," he says solemnly and looks straight into her chocolate brown eyes.

He gently brushes the pad over her bloody areas while keeping eye contact. She didn't flinch or wince once. _How odd._

He pulls out some band-aids and attempts to pull the deep lines as close together as possible before sticking the band-aids down and securing his hard work with a white dressing which he wraps around both wrists.

"Why do you do this to yourself, (Y/N)?" He inquires darkly.

"It's not to kill myself if that's what you're worried about, Mr. Rickman...." she responds quietly.

Alan looks confused at her.

"I do it so I can feel again... I stopped feeling pleasure a long time ago... The only feeling I respond to now is high levels of pain..."

Alan gives a defeated sigh and knows that the road to recovery for (Y/N) is going to be a long and hard one.

"I don't need to know your story. I just... I just need to know his name," Alan asks her.

"Robert," she utters after a minute of silence.


	2. Recovery Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years later, after Alan uncovers (Y/N)'s unfortunately dark past, they end up marrying and having a sweet baby girl. However, the past is about to catch up with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two in the "Recovery Series".

A loud shattering of glass downstairs startles (Y/N) awake in the early hours of the morning.

"What in the world?" She mumbles groggily and rubs at her eyes before she reaches across the large empty bed to switch on the lamp on Alan's bedside table.

Suddenly she remembers Alan is out of town and she shoots upright in bed as her blood runs cold after hearing slow, loud footsteps make their way up the wooden staircase.

She hears another shattering of glass and silently makes her way to check on her sleeping two-year-old across the hall.

She didn't even make it out of her and Alan's bedroom door when she suddenly runs straight into what feels like a solid brick wall and she stumbles to the ground, smacking the back of her head hard against the wooden floorboard, causing her to taste blood in her mouth.

She rubs the back of her head in an attempt to ease the shooting pain and looks up to see a large, bulky, masked man dressed in all black standing in the bedroom doorway.

She's scared and she doesn't know what to do. Her body starts shaking and anxiety fills her mind knowing her little girl is still sleeping across the hall.

_Who is this man and what is he doing inside the house?! What is he planning on doing?!_

She jumps to her feet and starts to hit at the man, but he blocks all her punches. With a grunt, she leaps towards her side of the bed in the hopes to get to her firearm in time. Luckily, it's cocked and loaded.

Unfortunately, the man is quicker than her and reaches the gun under her bed before she could. He aims it at her and in an attempt to get away, to call the police, she quickly rolls on her stomach down the foot-end of the bed and attempts to crawl over to her mobile phone on Alan's dresser.

The man moves slow and methodical. He silently aims the gun again and lodges a bullet straight into the back of her fleshy thigh.

(Y/N) screams out in pain as the sensation of a raging fire runs through her leg. She sits upright and clutches at her open bullet wound. She can feel something hot and wet run down her leg. Bright red blood violently squirts out of her wound and quickly forms a dark pool of blood around her on the wooden floorboard.

He makes his way over to her and roughly grabs hold of her ankles while dragging her heavy body to the middle of the bedroom floor, leaving a long smear of blood. She kicks at him but soon regrets it as a sharp pain shoots up her leg, causing more blood to gush out of her open wound.

He leans down and slaps her hard across her face with a splayed palm, causing her nose to bleed and her ears to ring, before tying her hands with a cable tie behind her back.

She's dizzy and disoriented as she feels a pair of large hands press her shoulders down onto the floor. The hard wooden floor presses against her exposed shoulder blades and the pain is almost unbearable, but the bullet in her thigh serves as a reminder that the pain can be much worse!

She gives a loud yelp causing the man to cover her mouth with his large dirty hand. His hand is firmly pressed down against her mouth and she can feel her teeth cutting through the inside of her lips. She squirms and struggles against the large lump of a man sitting on top of her. She can hardly breathe and she's still not sure what's going on. She prays that Alyson won't wake up and alert the perpetrator that there's someone else in the house.

Her eyes grow large in shock as she feels the man pushing her own gun against her temple with the hand not busy keeping her mouth shut.

"One word, one _squeak_... and I'll blow your brains out. Do you understand?" He growls dangerously low in the same Scottish accent that she thought she had forgotten about long ago.

 _Robert!_ She recognises his voice from all those years ago.

She can see the hatred in his black lifeless eyes, exposed by the mask he's wearing, and she knows he is being very serious. She is in a dangerous situation right now and he will not hesitate to kill.

He lets go of her mouth and painfully presses the gun further into the side of her head. He reaches between their bodies, under her night camisole, and rips her underwear from her body in one swift motion. He presses it up to his nose and inhales.

 _Oh, God, no. Please, no._ She squeezes her eyes shut and silently sobs as she realises what is about to happen.

Robert roughly wipes his large hand across her face and wipes away her tears and drags his fat tongue across his hand tasting her salty tears.

_Disgusting._

He leans down to her ear and whispers, "did you know that the female body prepares itself even in the case of rape? Yeah, that's right. You will produce enough lubrication to help you through the whole ordeal. You might even _enjoy_ it..." He states mockingly.

(Y/N) can't bear to look at him anymore as she turns her head away in shame. She lifts her eyes and can see herself in the bottom of the floor-length mirror against the wall.

"You want to test that theory, love?" Robert challenges.

(Y/N) can see him in the mirror reaching down between their bodies and she feels a disgusting fat finger reach between her thighs, penetrating her womanhood. He pulls his hand out and rubs her sticky juices between his middle finger and thumb. He brings it up to his mouth and sucks her juices off, letting his fingers go with a wet _pop_.

She whimpers as she feels ashamed that her body betrayed her like that. She doesn't have any sexual attraction towards this disgusting human being - no, scratch that, _animal_ \- and yet here her body is producing enough ejaculation to put her to shame.

Her lip starts to quiver and she whimpers when she hears him unzipping his pants. She knows what's coming and she can't do anything to stop it. Her hands are literally tied.

With one harsh push, he shoves his engorged cock inside her. He doesn't allow her time to adjust to his size as he starts to violently thrust upwards inside her, resulting in him tearing her inner walls. A burning sensation runs through her core and her vision starts to blur from the extreme pain coming from all angles: her thigh, her head, her shoulder blades, her tied hands, and now her vagina too.

After half an hour of the violent act, the man slumps his large body on top of hers. She can no longer breathe with his heavy weight on top of her and all she can smell is cigarette smoke and dirty sweat.

"Why are you not making me cum?!... You're pathetic! What type of woman are you?!" He demands loudly through raggedy breaths.

"Nooo, please. Stop, I beg of you!" She whisper-shouts through her tears.

"What did I say? WHAT DID I SAY?!" He shouts at her and spits in her face, causing her to flinch and whimper in fear.

He sits back upright and crashes both his forearms forcefully down against her abdomen.

(Y/N)'s wind gets knocked out and she gasps for air as tears stream down her face. A sharp pain shoots up her side and she figures he must have broken several of her ribs.

She can see small stars appear in front of her eyes and she feels like she's about to pass out when her worst fear came true.

"Mumma?" A faint little voice calls from the bedroom doorway.

She looks at the man in horror and back at her two-year-old daughter.

"Aly, no! Run, baby! Ruuuun!" (Y/N) attempts to shout with a hoarse voice while trying to fight off the attacker with her legs.

Robert pulls out of (Y/N), shoots up from atop her, leaps forward and grabs Alyson by both her tiny wrists.

"Mummyyyyy!" She cries out in hysteria while trying to free herself from the man's forceful grip.

The man violently places her on top of the bed and impatiently starts to unzip her footy pajamas, causing the zipper to strip. He reaches down her body while fumbling with her underwear before (Y/N) manages to kick him in the back of his knee, causing him to buckle.

"Stooooooop!" She manages to shout through a wheezy breath.

"Don't touch her! Please... I beg you... she's just a baby... she'll.. never survive that... Take me instead, please... Just... let her go," (Y/N) pleads with her attacker through strained breaths.

The broken ribs combined with the loss of blood from the bullet wound is starting to make it all the more difficult to talk.

He grabs Alyson forcefully, places her on the ground next to her mother, and ties her little hands in front of her ripped open jammies as she kicks with her little feet in frustration.

"She can lie here and witness as I destroy you for the last time, _love_ ," he growls close to (Y/N)'s ear.

Alyson whines and pulls violently at the restraints causing her tiny wrists to start bleeding as she continues to struggle.

"Mummaaaaa," she sobs as she can feel the warm wetness of her mother's blood soaking the back of her jammies.

"Look at me, sweety. Keep your eyes on Mumma, okay? Everything's going to be okay," (Y/N) manages through breaths.

She squeezes her eyes shut and bites down hard on her lower lip as Robert once again pushes into her forcefully. All through his thrusts (Y/N) makes sure to smile at Alyson through the pain in order to make sure she thinks everything is okay. She knows Aly is at that impressionable stage now, and that she will most likely remember all of today's events later in life. She just prays to God that her baby won't be scarred for the rest of her life.

After two hours of being used like a sex doll (Y/N) feels raw and exhausted. Before the numbness was about to set in, tingles run up her legs, and heat builds low in her core.

_Oh, God, no!_

She feels embarrassed and disgusted with herself as she can feel an orgasm slowly build its way up her body.

Alyson stares innocently at her mother with large chestnut eyes and (Y/N) turns her head away from her daughter in shame as the painful, yet pleasurable, orgasm rips through her.

Because of her muscles contracting, the pain in her body increases, but she bites her tongue in order not to let Robert know how much her shameful body is enjoying it. As the last drop of hated pleasure leaves her body, her mind goes dark and her vision turns awfully blurry.

(Y/N) knows she's about to pass out and looks up to see Robert with his eyes closed, still riding her.

She makes eye contact with Alyson again and whispers very quietly, close to her tiny ear.

"Run, Aly. Go out the front door and look for help. Send them here, okay, Bubba?" (Y/N) says sternly in the hopes that Alyson would actually know what she's asking of her.

Without Rob noticing, Alyson quietly gets up and trots out into the hall and down the stairs, leaving tiny bloody footprints as she goes. 


	3. Recovery Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alan returns home from filming and is about to have his life turned upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part three of the "Recovery Series".

"Well, big brother. You made it home alive," Sheila says as she pulls up in front of Alan and (Y/N)'s dark London townhouse.

"Only by a millimeter of my life. I'm never driving with you again!" He jabs playfully at his sister.

Sheila reaches over and lands a punch on his shoulder and they both chuckle while Alan rubs at the area. He looks at the clock on the dashboard.

"Luckily it's only five-thirty, so I might try and catch some shut-eye before the family wakes up for their day," he says through a muffled yawn.

"Al... does that window look broken to you?" Sheila enquires concerned and points to the window next to the front door.

They both stay extra quiet as they slowly open the car doors and make their way carefully up the three steps to the townhouse. Alan inspects the shattered glass window and looks down at the glass shards strewn on the sidewalk.

He carefully makes sure not to step on any of it in case it could be used as evidence later. Alan turns the doorknob and after finding it still locked he unlocks it with his set of keys.

"Do you have your phone ready?" He whispers to Sheila.

"Yeah, I'm all set," she whispers back and ducks behind him, using his body as a shield.

He pushes through the front door and slowly turns the lights on dim as they both enter. Alan leaves Sheila behind and slowly makes his way through the downstairs areas.

With it being still slightly dark and hard to see, Alyson stumbles down the last step on the staircase and bumps into Sheila, softly whimpering.

"Hey, _Little Al_ , what's the matter, sweety?" Sheila comforts while picking Aly up and cradling her in her arms. She immediately lifts her hand to her face after feeling her wet backside.

Chills run up her spine after seeing the blood and noticing little Aly's hands tied in the front. The poor child looks worse for wear with her nightwear ripped open.

"Alan!" She whisper-shouts to him in a panic where he is currently scouting out the kitchen.

Alan rushes over to his sister, stopping dead in his tracks as a pang runs through his chest at seeing his baby looking distressed and crying.

"Call the police, I'm going to check upstairs," he rushes up the stairs in a panic.

As he makes his way up the stairs he notices Alyson's tiny bloody footprints. An uneasy feeling settles in his gut at what could be waiting behind the slightly open bedroom door.

He follows the footprints to the master bedroom and peers inside. It feels like someone knocked his wind out as he spots the large bloodstains and blood smears on the wooden bedroom floor.

Just like three years ago, on that fateful day in (Y/N)'s office, the same copper smell hangs in the air. Alan covers his nose and mouth with his sleeve to prevent the smell from entering his orifices.

"What in God's name happened in here?" He whispers to himself confused and frightened.

After hearing faint panting he pushes through the door and enters the bedroom completely.

No one could be prepared for the scene that Alan witnessed. At first, the great actor himself didn't know the appropriate way to respond. The first feelings he felt was confusion, then disgust, then rage, and lastly, helplessness.

He looks on as a very large, bulky man violates his unconscious wife in her own pool of blood. Her hands are tied and uncomfortably poking out the side from underneath her, there is dried blood on her nose and a black bruise under her eye. Her unconscious lump of a body helplessly shakes against its will with each violent thrust.

A strong grunt pulls Alan from his shocked state and he notices the man's eyes roll in the back of his head, which could only mean one thing...

"Nooo!! Get off her!!" He rushes forward and uses all his power and strength to tackle the man off his wife. In their struggle, the gun slides under the bed, evening out the playing field.

Alan kicks at Robert's sides, leans down, and throws punch after punch at the disgusting animal's face. Alan screams in anger and continues his violent act.

"Alan, no, stop! You'll kill him!" Sheila shouts at her brother as she comes rushing in with Alyson still on her hip.

"That's the goddamn plan!" Alan shouts back in a fit of rage. He's not thinking straight as the veins bulge in his neck from anger while still attacking Robert. His face is blood red and all he can see is white-hot anger before his eyes.

Sheila quickly shields Alyson's little eyes after seeing (Y/N)'s unconsciousness body in the pool of blood on the floor.

"The police are here, let them handle it," she pleads in the hopes that Alan won't get arrested too, as four uniformed officers rush past her and grab hold of both Alan and Robert.

"Sir, you need to calm down," one police officer demands from Alan.

"The hell I will!! You have no idea what this man just did," Alan screams through sobs as hot tears stream down his aging face.

They let him go and instead handcuff Robert's hands behind his back and pull him off the ground.

Alan spins around and drops down to the floor next to (Y/N)'s body, crying. He blinks through his stream of tears as he cups her bloodied and bruised face in his hands. He wails loudly and the way his face contorts in sadness and pain is enough to bring Sheila to tears, so she instead takes Alyson down the hall to comfort her.

After the police escort Robert out, the paramedics arrive and pull Alan away from (Y/N) so that they can tend to her. They quickly secure a faint heartbeat and tend to her bleeding bullet wound before lifting her on a gurney and pushing her out the door.

The police pull Alan aside to take a statement and continue to document the crime scene. They take pictures of Alan's bloody knuckles, the bloodied bedroom, and the broken window which Robert used as an entryway.

One of the paramedics stays behind to assess Alyson's state and tend to Alan's bleeding knuckles.

Alyson cries as the paramedic takes pictures of her tied up hands and her ripped jammies.

"Could we hurry this along, please? My daughter is in distress," Alan asks impatiently while holding his crying little girl down on her changing table. Once done with her pictures, the paramedic cuts off the cable ties, freeing Alyson's tiny hands.

She continues to pull out a sexual assault kit for her bag and opens the cotton swab before gently inserting it into Alyson, eliciting a whimper and struggle from her. Alan turns his head away as he cannot bear to think what that man could've done to his tiny innocent daughter.

"If you want that... animal... to go away for good, sir, you'll need a strong case. The only way that'll happen is if you would allow me to do my job and thoroughly document everything," she says as she pulls Alyson's underwear back up and secures her jammies.

"You're right, I apologise for my impatience," Alan gives a frustrated sigh. "It's just, I need to be with my wife," he pleads with the paramedic.

"Sir, I don't know if you realise how severe your wife's condition is, but she'll need surgery to remedy her internal bleeding, not to mention her bullet wound. You won't be able to see her until at least a few hours from now. I suggest you take some time to tend to your daughter. We have a child psychologist at the hospital that she will need to see as soon as possible to help her through the trauma," the paramedic says as she wraps up her documentation and writes her final notes.

Alan looks solemnly down at Alyson and something hits him. "Does she... Did he..." he croaks at the thought and awkwardly scratches his forehead.

"I found no evidence of penetration or semen in your daughter, Mr. Rickman. It's safe to say that, besides for the restraints, she was untouched," the paramedic confirms and both Alan and Sheila let out a simultaneous sigh of relief.

After the paramedic leaves, Sheila brings a tub of warm soapy water and a flannel over to the changing station. Alan lets Alyson sit upright as he takes off and discards her bloody ripped footy pajamas and tiny underwear in the plastic bag Sheila is holding open for him. She ties it and leaves it at the door to throw out afterward.

Alan soaks the flannel and gently wipes off each part of Aly's baby-soft body. Angry tears escape his eyes as he wipes at her tear- and snot-streaked face and his heart breaks at the fact that she had to witness her mother getting brutally raped. He methodically wipes off all the dried blood smears on her back and bottom of her feet.

Her bottom lip quivers as Alan lightly brushes over her bruised wrists with the flannel. He slumps his shoulders and silently cries along with Alyson. Sheila hands Alyson her pacifier which calms her down and she supportively rubs Alan's back in comfort.

"It's okay, Al. Alyson is okay and (Y/N) will be okay, too. You need to stay strong, big brother. They're going to need you to be strong," she says reassuringly.

Alan clears his throat, stands back up, straightens his back, and continues to dress Alyson in day wear. He brushes her hair gently and wipes away her tears before readjusting her pacifier and picking her up, holding her little body tight against his chest.

"You go to the hospital, I'll call a cleaning company to come to clean up the bedroom," she offers and he leans down to place a kiss lovingly on her forehead.

"You're a Godsend, thank you," he says after a sniffle and leaves with Alyson for the hospital. 


	4. Recovery Part IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a horrible ordeal, Alan has to decide whether or not he is willing to stick around for the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part four of the "Recovery Series".

At almost noontime, Sheila walks through the doors of St Bart's hospital on her way to the child psychologist. With a knock, she pushes through the office door and spots her brother nervously seated on the edge of the couch in the corner while Aly is drawing a picture on a small children's craft table.

She figures the young woman sitting next to her, talking, must be the psychologist. The room is painted in calm light blues and each wall is adorned with children's storybook murals. Bundles of toys are neatly placed throughout the room on tabletops and shelves. She smiles in greeting to the woman and walks over to Alan, squeezing his shoulder in comfort.

"I'll stay and watch her. Go," she whispers and nods her head in the direction of the door.

Alan is too tired from his earlier sixteen-hour long flight to argue and with a relieved sigh he gets off the couch in search of his wife's room number. She came out of surgery an hour ago and he has yet to find out anything relating to her condition.

He stops in front of the room and exhales heavily before entering. He doesn't know what to expect when seeing her as he only caught glimpses of her through tear-filled eyes earlier.

"Ah, Mr. Rickman, I presume?" An older female doctor in a white coat holds her hand out to Alan in greeting where she's checking (Y/N)'s chart at the foot of the bed. He has to do a double-take to make sure it's not Geena Davis as the doctor resembles the actress immensely.

Alan walks forward towards the bed and politely shakes the doctor's hand and forces a smile at the tall brunette.

"Doctor," he clears his throat. "How is she?" he asks looking over at his wife in the hospital bed and inwardly cringes at her appearance.

Her one eye is swollen and bruised, her nose is bruised, large blackened blue handprints and fingerprints decorate her exposed arms and shoulders. Her right thigh is bound around the bullet wound and exposed, resting on top of the hospital blanket, while the rest of her body is covered in the white sheets. Alan's stomach churns at seeing the inside of her exposed thigh all raw and bloodied and bruised. The faint beeping of the heart rate monitor has him on edge.

The doctor gives a sigh after watching Alan mentally evaluate his wife.

"Well, she's been through a bad ordeal... we managed to remove the bullet in her thigh and secure the wound. She has some bruising on her face and body, but nothing that will last. As for the broken ribs, there's not much we can do except give her pain medication and reduce her physical activity," the doctor starts.

Alan looks expectantly at the doctor as he can sense there's more coming.

"She... she has some of the worst vaginal trauma I've ever seen in all my years in practice," the doctor says darkly.

Alan just stares blankly at the doctor as he feels like he's going to be sick.

"Luckily we were able to suture up all her internal tears and stop the internal bleeding. We also had to do some reconstructive surgery to her cervix, so I would suggest no sexual activity for at least the next 12 weeks."

_Is she being serious? (Y/N) probably would want to abstain for the next year - at least... especially after what she's been through. I would be lucky if she ever let me near her again... Which is completely understandable..._

"Remaining on the subject, do you, Mr. Rickman, know if your wife is on any contraceptive?" The doctor inquires.

"I-I... I have no idea at this point... we were trying for another baby, but... I-I... honestly don't know, why?" Alan stammers confused.

After a minute of silence, the doctor continues.

"We found semen inside her vaginal canal and... there's a chance she could have been fertilized by her perpetrator..."

"Oh, God!" Alan feels like his heart just got ripped out and he steadies himself against the back of the visitor's chair. The thought of (Y/N) carrying that monster's child... And with their beliefs and principles, she will never consider abortion... He's really going to be sick.

"Of course, we won't know for sure until she wakes up and we can confirm with her if she uses any contraceptive. The other option, regardless, is giving her Levonorgestrel, but again, it can only be administered until after she wakes up."

"Will that... help to...?" Alan motions with his shaky hands not really sure himself of what he's asking.

"If administered within 120 hours of an attack, Levonorgestrel can help prevent ovulation thus eliminating the chance of fertilization. I have to warn both of you, though, that there is a five percent chance of the drug not working and Mrs. Rickman could still end up pregnant."

At the end of the doctor's statement, Alan rushes out into the hall and aims for the waste bin beside the door just in time. He hunches over and heaves as he empties out the contents of his stomach. He takes out his handkerchief from his jacket pocket and wipes his mouth.

Sheila appears next to him with Alyson on her hip, sleeping with her head on Sheila's shoulder. She looks at him confused and hands him a bottle of water. He rinses his mouth then downs the rest of the water before throwing the plastic bottle in the bin.

"You alright?" She inquires while rubbing his back.

Alan starts to sob out of frustration and sadness for his wife's situation. _Their situation._

Sheila leads him to a bench opposite (Y/N)'s room and they both sit down. Alan rests his head between his knees as his body shakes from crying. Eventually, he stops crying and sits upright with a sniff.

"The doctor says that... even with emergency contraceptive... there's still a chance that (Y/N) could become pregnant with Robert's child..." he stammers through his sentence while staring ahead into nothingness.

Sheila remains quiet in order for Alan to completely express his feelings. She knows her brother and she knows there's something deep inside that he's not admitting.

"I don't know what to do, Sheils. Uh... I..." he blows out a shaky breath and runs his fingers through his silver hair in frustration.

"I don't want her to have his child... And I don't know if I can stick around for that," he looks ashamed up at his sister after realising what he just said.

"You're just... going to leave her?! Alan, you can't do that. What happened to until death do you part?" She asks her brother in shock.

Alan shrugs his shoulders while biting his lower lip in thought.

"And it's not like it's her fault. She didn't ask to be brutally raped by that man. I honestly can not believe you right now..." she scoffs and shakes her head in both disappointment and shame.

"What would you have done? If you were me?" He asks her daringly.

"For starters, I would never, ever let her know that you even _thought_ about leaving her! And second, I would stick with her through thick and thin..." Sheila exhales loudly and readjusts Aly so that she can cradle her in her lap.

"She's a really good woman, Al. A saint, probably. She doesn't deserve what happened to her and she sure as hell doesn't deserve a husband who is uncertain of where his loyalties lie. She needs someone who can be there for her, like all the times she's been there for everyone else before. Don't alienate her, please..." she begs.

"And if you were in her shoes, what would you do?" Alan challenges.

"I wouldn't even know how to feel after experiencing something like that. I would just hope that _my person_ loves me unconditionally enough to help me through it. Look, Alan, I'm not saying it's black and white. There's a lot of grey areas in your situation, but she's going to need all the support she can get. And I honestly do hope you stick around for that."

"Uh-hm," the doctor clears her throat after appearing before the bickering siblings.

"She's awake and talking if you wanted to go see her," she looks expectantly at Alan.

Alan stands up on shaky legs and straightens out his trousers and jacket.

"I'll give you two some time alone before coming back to explain the recovery period to you both," the doctor nods and walks down the hall with her heels clicking.

"You go ahead, I'll bring Alyson in as soon as she awakes," his sister reassures with a slight bitterness in her voice.

Upon entering Alan sees (Y/N) fidgeting with the blanket and as soon as she looks up and spots him at the door, tears start to fill her eyes.

She feels a rush of emotions running through her body and turns her head away from him as tears streams down her face like a waterfall and she lets out a gut-wrenching wail, clutching violently at the white sheets while trying to hide her face.

Alan's heart breaks at seeing his once confident wife so vulnerable. He steps closer to the bed but isn't sure if she would accept his physical affection. His vision starts getting blurry from the tears building up in his own eyes and he has to blink a few times.

"Darling, I am so unbelievably sorry. I don't know how to make it better," Alan utters through his own sobs while still awkwardly hovering near her bed.

She reaches out a timid hand to him and a wave of relief washes over Alan.

The fact that she's ashamed, but still wants him to be close to her makes him realise then and there that he would do anything for her. He would lay down his life for her. How could he even think about leaving her? In that woman there's a heart he loves and it's his to own forever. Whatever happens, they'll work through it together.


	5. Recovery Part V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, some good news brings a breaking family back together again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter five of the "Recovery Series".

She reaches out a timid hand to him and a wave of relief washes over Alan.

Alan walks towards her, takes her soft hand gently in his large one, and hugs her awkwardly tight against his chest, crying along with her.

"A-Alan, I promise, I-I didn't cheat on you," she says through hiccuped sobs while clutching at his chest.

Alan pulls her back from against his chest and stares at her in shock.

_Why on earth would she think that??_

"I p-promise. I-I didn't call h-him. I-I didn't invite him over. I-I promise I didn't invite him in. I'm so-o-o sorry..." her voice trails off as her crying escalates leaving her inconsolable as her body shakes and she sobs uncontrollably.

"Oh, my dear... Darling... this was never your fault. Please, don't blame yourself. Don't you dare think that this is in any way because of your doing. You shouldn't have gone through any of this. I am the one who is so very sorry that he had hurt you for a second time and that I was not there to stop him once again," he comforts by pulling her shaking form closer to him again as she clutches at his shirt, holding on for all that she has.

He comforts her in the only ways he knows how - by stroking her hair and rubbing her arm. He's afraid that his nearness might trigger her.

After some time passes, Alan pulls away to move the chair closer to her bed, but she stops him by tightening her grip around his wrist. Alan turns back surprised and confused.

"No! Please, don't leave me alone," she exclaims frantically, causing her monitor to beep erratically.

"Darling, I'm right here. I'm just bringing the chair closer so that I can sit by you. I'm not going anywhere," he assures her comfortingly in a low voice while running his thumb over the top of her hand.

While still encasing her hand, he stretches his leg out and reaches for the leg of the chair with his foot and drags it closer in one swift motion, causing it to screech on the tiled floor.

Alan makes himself comfortable in the chair and pours his wife a cup of water with his free hand. He brings it closer to her in order for her to take a sip.

After the initial sting, the water feels like heaven running down (Y/N)'s throat. Her throat feels raw and her voice sounds hoarse as if she'd been screaming for hours.

The private room goes silent after Alan takes the cup from her and places it on the stand next to her bed. (Y/N) can hear a faint ringing in her left ear and all Alan's earlier words seem muffled and ambient. A wave of nausea washes over her and she shoots upright while covering her mouth, regretting it instantly as her ribs protest against the action.

Alan jumps up, quickly grabbing the waste bin, and holds it in front of her. He rubs her back in soothing circles as she heaves and empties her stomach in the bin.

Just then the doctor walks in and comes to a stop near the foot of the bed.

"Temporary tinnitus due to whatever caused the bruising on your face. The nausea will go away, as will the ringing in the ears," the doctor reassures sweetly while gesturing to her own ear.

She takes a stand closer to the side of the bed and situates herself across from the couple. After taking her time to carefully assess (Y/N)'s physical and mental state she continues to explain to her the extent of her injuries just as she did to Alan earlier.

"Mrs. Rickman, unfortunately, we could not ask for your permission at the time when you were brought in, but we did a sexual assault kit before your surgery. All the evidence would have been sterilized if we prepped you before doing the kit. I want you to know that we have it safely stowed away for whenever you are ready to hand it over to the police. Regardless, they caught your attacker in the act and the results of the rape kit will have no impact on the fact that he will go to jail," the doctor states with slight bitterness towards Robert in her voice.

(Y/N) timidly nods her head in understanding while looking down at her one hand in her lap, playing with the sheets between her fingers.

"During the rape kit we found evidence of semen inside you and we need to know if you are using any contraceptive."

"Oh, nooo," she gasps as she looks up in horror and starts crying as she realises where the doctor's line of questioning is going.

"No, I've not been taking any contraceptive since... since a few months ago when we decided that we wanted to try for another baby," she sobs and clutches Alan's hand tighter.

_Could I have prevented this? Had we not decided to try again and I was still on a contraceptive, could I have prevented my body from getting pregnant by Robert?_

"In that case, we will administer an emergency contraceptive immediately," the doctor reassures.

"What are my chances of becoming pregnant? And what if I'm... I'm already pregnant... w-would it kill a possible fetus?" (Y/N) asks in a panic.

Alan is quite stunned to hear the words leave his wife's mouth. He knows they've been actively trying for a baby, but it never occurred to him that there might be a possibility that she might already be pregnant.

"Mrs. Rickman, as I told your husband earlier, Levonorgestrel has a success rate of ninety-five-percent which is still very high and it won't have any effect on an existing pregnancy."

"But what if I'm that other five-percent?? Wh-what if... I get pregnant and we're not sure if it's because of our trying or... because of the..." she swallows hard as she feels her heart racing just thinking about it.

"...the rape aftermath? How will we know?"

"When is the last time you were sexually active? With your husband, that is," the doctor quickly remedies her slightly insensitive question.

"About three days ago," Alan answers quietly after seeing (Y/N) mentally struggle to keep tally of the days.

"Since the timelines for both events are so close together, unfortunately, there is no way of knowing unless you're further along. We could do a pre-natal paternal test when the fetus is nine weeks old, but it comes with risks. It's an invasive procedure and carries a small risk of miscarriage."

"Darling, let's stay calm," Alan pleads quietly as he hears the erratic beeping of her heart rate monitor again.

"At this point, we're not even sure if you are pregnant. If it was because of our doing then no harm would come to a possible fetus. If it's because of..." He closes his eyes briefly to control his angry thoughts at what Robert had done to them both.

"...then the contraceptive will prevent that from happening. Ninety-five-percent is still very high for a success rate. And if you do fall in the five-percent category then... then we will cross that bridge when we get there, but there is no use in worrying about something we are not certain of now," he explains calmly to her in his deep velvety voice which has the desired effect on her stress levels as Alan glances up at the monitor and sees her heartbeat and blood pressure return back to normal.

"Besides for the possibility of pregnancy, Mr. and Mrs. Rickman, there is still also the possible subject of HIV/AIDS that we need to discuss," the doctor treads carefully.

"What?!" (Y/N) and Alan both exclaim in unison as they both whip their heads in the doctor's direction.

"Of course with all rapes, there are the possibilities of the victim contracting an STD or HIV/AIDS," the doctor replies carefully.

"Oh, my God. Does the horror never end??" (Y/N) cries and covers her face with her hands.

"Now, Mrs. Rickman, it is not my intention to upset you. We don't know for sure if Robert has any of the previously mentioned conditions, but they will test him as soon as possible. In the meantime we are treating you with every drug possible to prevent STDs, HIV, and any unwished pregnancies," she reassures with confidence.

The doctor stands up from her chair and gives (Y/N)'s foot a comforting squeeze through the sheets. She makes her way towards the door after placing a supporting hand on Alan's shoulder.

"I'll let you know as soon as possible when I get his test results back. In the meantime, we have counselors available at your dispense right here at the hospital if either of you feels like talking," she states comfortingly and walks out of the room.

(Y/N) exhales sharply and looks up at the white ceiling. She closes her eyes and squeezes Alan's hand tighter.

"We'll get through this, don't worry," she says confidently, but with a wavering voice.

She opens her eyes and looks at Alan with a lopsided smile. Alan knows it is more a statement to placate her mind than it is to reassure him.

"Knock, knock," Sheila whispers as she peeps her head through the door causing both Alan and (Y/N) to look in her direction.

"Someone wanted to come to say hi, if that's okay," she pushes further through the door revealing a still sleepy, but awake, Alyson on her hip.

"Mumma!" Alyson exclaims as she stretches both her hands out to her mother.

"Oh, baby!" (Y/N) sobs as she holds Alyson tight against her chest after Sheila brought her over to the bed.

Alyson gently pulls back from her mother's grasp and turns towards her. With her small tubby hands, she softly encases her both sides of her mother's bruised face.

Alan and Sheila watch Alyson intently to try and figure out what she's about to do.

Small chestnut eyes move erratically over (Y/N)'s features before she speaks softly.

"Mumma, wha's on yo' face?" Her tiny eyebrows pull together in a questioning manner.

(Y/N) has to swallow hard to get rid of the thick lump forming in her throat.

Through stray tears and with a hoarse voice she answers, "Mummy has a boo-boo, darling."

"Oh," she says sadly while shifting her eyes to her mother's exposed shoulders and suspiciously eyeing the bruises there, too.

Her tiny bottom lip quivers and her eyes become watery as she earnestly looks back up at her mother.

"I'm sowwy, Mumma," she says before her voice breaks and she starts to sob.

A pang runs through Alan's chest at seeing his two-year-old showing so much empathy.

"Oh, darling. Come 'ere," (Y/N) starts to cry too and holds her daughter tight.

The mother and daughter duo both cry loudly as they seek comfort in each other's arms.

Both Alan and Sheila take a few steps back to give them some space. She places a loving hand on her brother's shoulder and gives a soft squeeze.

"How are you holding up?" She whispers quietly to him after seeing him wipe at the stray tears that escaped his eyes.

Alan looks over at his sister and nods his head, reassuring her that he is doing okay.

They both take a seat next to each other in the visitors' chairs against the wall. Sheila grabs her brother's hand and holds it tight in support. She studies his hand intently as she mentally goes over each vein and liver spot present and smiles at his well-kept nails.

After a few quiet hours of (Y/N) cradling Aly in her sore lap, suddenly all the flashbacks of the event plays off in (Y/N)'s mind. She sees Alyson in hindsight standing in the doorway; Robert hovering over her small body on the bed; Alyson's bound hands as she lays next to her on the floor. She tries to dig deep into her memory to try and find out when the last time was that she saw Alyson.

_Maybe when she left to get help?_

Her mind is dark and empty and she realises she must have blacked out. She pulls a sleeping Alyson back from her grip, careful not to wake her, and quickly scans her small body with her eyes.

"Did he hurt her? Did he touch her? Did anything happen to her after I... I??" (Y/N) demands frantically, at first catching Alan off guard.

He sniffles and answers calmly before walking over to the bed, "No, besides for the restraints, our little girl is untouched."

He lightly strokes Alyson's head and places a soft and gentle kiss on (Y/N)'s forehead. She reaches her arm around him and pulls him in for a group hug.

Sheila figures she's sat around for far too long, so she'll go home instead and start preparing dinner while letting the family recuperate since it's already past 6 pm.

They've been sitting around waiting on news from the test results and so far no one has informed them of any further developments. She figures Alan would call her with any updates.

Sheila silently makes her way towards the door when the doctor comes rushing back inside.

"Mr. and Mrs. Rickman?" She calls their attention while still trying to catch her breath.

They both look up at the older female doctor in angst and expectation.

"I came here as soon as I got the test results back," she motions to the stack of white papers in her hand.

Sheila stops in the doorway and turns around curiously.

(Y/N) feels her heart racing just thinking of all the multiple outcomes to their situation.

"I'm going to go through the test results systematically. Firstly, Robert's results..."

The occupants of the room hold their breaths and prepare themselves for the worst. (Y/N) tightens her grip on Alan's arm in fear while methodically stroking Aly's hair.

"His HIV test came back negative. As did his tox screen and STD screening. You're safe on that forefront," she smiles as she looks up from the paper and over at (Y/N).

(Y/N) throws her head back against the pillow in content and smiles faintly at the news. Both Alan and Sheila breathe a sigh of relief. Sheila rests her hand on her heart in preparation for the next part.

"As for yourself, Mrs. Rickman. You have contracted no STD's and your HIV status came back negative as well. There was, however, a spike in your HCG levels," she confirms.

Sheila's eyes grow in shock and a small smile appears on her aging face as she realises what that could mean for her brother. She knows that a pregnancy test will only show positive two days after conception which means...

"Wh-what does that mean?" Alan asks confused and cautiously after his wife turns to him with concern etched onto her bruised face.

"Our tests confirm that you are... ten weeks pregnant..."

The family collectively gasp in shock at the news. Alan can basically see the gears turning in (Y/N)'s mind trying to figure out what this could mean for them. He knows she has to hear the words leave the doctor's mouth before she can finally accept it. Small tears escape his eyes and run down his cheek at the realisation that he is going to be a father for the second time.

"...and we know now that, according to the timeline, it is impossible for Robert to be the father. Congratulations, Mr. Rickman," the doctor holds her hand out in congratulations before Alan shakes it enthusiastically with tear-filled eyes.

"For some miraculous reason no harm came to the baby and it is very healthy and growing strong. Since we did have to do reconstructive surgery on your cervix, we will have to monitor your pregnancy closely to prevent premature delivery, but I can't see any reason at all to worry," the doctor states happily.

A wave of relief washes over (Y/N) and she hugs a sleeping Alyson tighter. Alan leans down and places a loving kiss on his wife's forehead before wiping her tears away softly with his thumb.

"Did you hear that, sweetheart? Alyson is getting a sibling," he announces softly and lets out a watery chuckle while staring lovingly into (Y/N)'s eyes. They both place a hand gently on top of (Y/N)'s abdomen, careful not to cause discomfort to her injuries.

The excitement of a new life created by her and Alan tramples the hatred feeling she had earlier towards Rob and what he had done to her and her family. She knows she will never forgive him, but she can finally move on. For the first time since the attack this morning, a genuine smile spreads across her face and she's excited to become a mother for the second time.

The doctor silently takes her leave.

"Congratulations, you two. You deserve it," Sheila says happily and decides to go, too.

"Hang on a minute," (Y/N) calls softly across the room to her sister-in-law causing Sheila to stop in her tracks and turn around.

(Y/N) lets go of Alan's hand and reaches her hand out towards Sheila while motioning for her to come closer, which she does.

"Thank you for everything you've done for us thus far, Sheila. If you'd accept, I want you to be the godmother to baby Rickman," (Y/N) announces gleefully causing Alan to break out smiling. He can no longer contain his excitement and happiness.

"Of course I would love to accept, thank you," she says through a watery chuckle.

She takes (Y/N)'s soft hand in hers and squeezes it gently, "You are such an incredibly strong woman, (Y/N). I am very proud to know you and have you as part of this family. You're no longer a victim, but a survivor of your circumstances."

Alan's heart swells with pride as he witnesses his sister open up to (Y/N) and as she leans down to give her a kiss on her forehead.

"I'll cook up some dinner and have Alan bring you some for tonight. I know how horrible hospital food can be," she jokes.

"And of course, Aly is more than welcome to stay with me and John and the girls for the night. I know you'd probably want to stay the night here at the hospital," she looks expectantly at Alan.

"Thank you," he appreciatively winks at his sister. "I'll bring her 'round after I pick some clothes up for her from the house."

After Sheila leaves (Y/N) makes sure that Alyson is still asleep by leaning her head down and softly brushing over Alyson's face with her hand.

She looks over at Alan who clearly can no longer hold back his excitement as a goofy smile is plastered on his face.

"You can kiss me, y' know? I won't break," she lightly jokes and flashes him a genuine smile, showing her two dimples.

Alan's heart skips a beat at seeing a glimpse of his brave and confident wife slowly starting to turn back into her old self again.

He gently leans down and hovers millimeters away from her fleshy lips and takes a moment to stare into her chocolate brown orbs. It makes him happy to see that the earlier extinguished flame is now burning wild once again inside of them - almost making them sparkle.

He takes in her scent mixed with the smell of hospital sterilizers and he knows that the smell will be burnt into his memory forever. As will this day. Alan realises that he is okay with it and as long as his wife and his two babies are happy and healthy, he will be happy too.

After what feels like forever he finally inches closer and seals their lips together tenderly sending shivers up (Y/N)'s spine and sending goosebumps along her arms.

 _This is what love feels like_.


End file.
